August 6, 2025:Ways to Support Loved Ones During and After Psychiatric Hospitalization
by Harmony Witte
Trigger Warning: This post mentions suicidal ideation, hospitalization, and depression.
I’m on day 14 of a psych hold for depression and suicidal ideation with no clear end in sight. With a complex mental health history including diagnoses of Bipolar 1 Disorder, CPTSD, OCD, Postpartum Psychosis and possible ADHD—this marks my 3rd hospitalization. It feels like a failure on my part to be hospitalized again after all these years of “stability.” It’s during tough times like this that support from friends and family is crucial–yet many people do not understand how to support their loved ones through a mental health crisis.
Why do people treat friends and family who are hospitalized for mental health issues so differently than those who are hospitalized for physical illness? Is it some internalized belief that the mentally ill should be able to handle their issues quietly without making a fuss? That they should suffer silently, being neither seen nor heard? Is it a belief that mental health issues don’t deserve the same kind of support as physical ailments? The stigma is real and it its effects can be devastating to those who struggle.
Many people seem to think that the best approach to a mental health crisis is to pretend that nothing is happening. This can be incredibly invalidating and can cause the patient to question whether they deserve to be isolated and separated from everyone in their lives as some sort of twisted punishment for their “brokenness.” This serves to exacerbate their loneliness and depression. No one deserves to feel rejected by the people they love the most during what is likely to be one of the scariest and most difficult time of their lives.
1: Reach out: Let your loved one know that you are thinking of them and send well wishes. Don’t assume that they know you love them by osmosis—tell them! A stay in a psychiatric hospital can be an incredibly isolating and dehumanizing experience. It never hurts to tell someone that you value their presence in your life and want it to continue.
2. Offer to Visit: Visits from loved ones are often the best part of the day in the psychiatric ward. It’s a tangible reminder that there is life outside the surreality and forced infantiliztionthe patient experiences in the program. The hope of a visit is enough to get someone through a rough day full of side effects from medication changes and a lack of sleep in an unfamiliar environment. The most tragic people in the psych ward are the ones who don’t have visitors. Don’t be afraid of visiting a friend in the hospital! Being inpatient can feel like a constant parade of unfamiliar faces as staff changes each shift and other patients cycle in an out. Patients may experience intense episodes of grief as people they have connected with are released from the ward. Seeing folks who are familiar faces from the outside world can be incredibly beneficial. When you do visit, let the patient set the tone for the conversation but don’t be afraid to laugh and reminisce about happy memories. Talk about the future things you want to do together once they are released–a little hope goes a long way.
3. Bring Comfort Items or Treats: Many psychiatric hospitals withhold stimulants from patients with ADHD during their hospitalization, even going so far as to also limit access to caffeine. This often leaves many patients in a state of heightened vulnerability and distress, yet they are still expected to attend meetings and therapy groups and to follow a very structured schedule. If they are unable to do those things they may be held longer or be considered uncooperative. Bring your loved one a cup of coffee if the facility allows outside beverages or food. Ask if they need any items from home or the store. Often people do not plan for hospitalization—it happens suddenly, and they may be left without access to basic things like fingernail clippers, toothpaste, or a soft stuffed animal to squeeze.
4. Affirm the Decision to Seek Help: Tell your friend you are glad they made the brave and difficult decision to seek help. The prospect of hospitalization can be terrifying and crippling, preventing people from seeking the help they so desperately need because of the fear of being labeled as “crazy” or “weak.” Make it clear to them that they made the right decision to reach out for help and you will be there for them throughout the process. Many people do not understand that psych wards are for stabilization, not a place to deal with the issues that got the patient to this place. They likely do not receive one on one therapy while in the hospital, are encouraged not to share trauma with other patients, and may even be questioning if they made the right decision in seeking help.
5. Offer to Call or Facetime: If your loved one has access to their phone, arrange to have a nice chat. Keep in mind that there may be no place on the ward for privacy, so they may be limited in what they are comfortable saying to you in front of other patients.
6. Text or Email Regularly: A good cat meme can really lighten the mood and send positive chemicals into the brain. The key is to keep in touch so that they never feel abandoned while in treatment.
7. Offer to Help with Tasks They Can’t Manage While in Hospital: Offer to check in on pets, check the mail, water plants—all the things you would offer to do if someone had just had a surgery. Ask them what they need. If you check on their animals—be sure to send pics of their furry friends.
8. Be Understanding: Psych patients are going through one of the scariest, loneliest, most unsettling experiences of their lives. They aren’t at their best. They may be experiencing med side effects, they may be triggered by the hospital environment and the inherent loss of control, they may be worried about losing their jobs, housing, or community. Try to understand that their anxiety and depression are at an all-time high and be compassionate and empathetic. Talking openly about mental health struggles is the best way to destigmatize the process of seeking help. Give your loved one the space to be honest about how they are doing and what brought them to this place but be sure not to grill them about specifics.
9. Offer to Play Games or Watch a Show: If you visit—bring a game. If they have access to their phone, play Words with Friends or Mario Kart throughout the day. Offer to watch a beloved show together while over Facetime or to text throughout a tv episode.
10. Offer to Sit with Them Once They Are Released: Offer to go for a walk, watch a movie at home, keep them company while they catch up on cleaning, or to eat a favorite meal. Don’t expect that they will act like their “old self” immediately on release, hospitalization can be very traumatic, and it may take time before they can relax and feel comfortable at home again.
11. Follow Up on How They are Doing: Touch base on how therapy or outpatient programs are going. Let your friend know that you are concerned about their well-being and remind them you are proud of them for seeking help. That you are glad they are still a part of your life.
I’m so grateful for the folks who have supported me through all of my turmoil and stuck with me through the desolate times. The support and love shown by my friends and family makes such a difference in the speed at which I am able to recover from depressive episodes. This is the list of things what would most support me, your loved one’s needs may be different. The most important thing to keep in mind is to communicate openly. Don’t be afraid to ask what the patient needs and how you can best support them through this time but be careful not to place the burden of the mental load completely on their shoulders while their brain is struggling. That’s where making suggestions for things that you are able and willing to offer, giving options, is crucial.